Monster/Strength

Lets see here. I did something stupid that was going to get me executed by a dear friend. While talking to another friend the idea of "if that's how you feel (about being exectued) why are you still friends with them?"

And it all kind of came around to this:

I may hold onto this pain.
I may suffer for seemingly no reason to you.
But what I hold is far more precious to me than you can understand, and I can't possibly even begin to explain it to you.